Married to an Indonesian man
Success Stories 1
"Transcending differences in values, be yourself"
I've found people I can be with."
Ms. M, in her 30s
Success Stories 2
“Even after facing all our differences, I knew I wanted to be with him. We still cherish our time together as a couple to this day.”
Ms. S, in her 30s
Success Stories 1
"I was able to meet someone with whom I can be myself, transcending differences in values."
Ms. M, in her 30s
*This is a case of marriage that occurred through means other than our service, but we are presenting it as a real example of marriage with an Indonesian man.
■ Encounter with Indonesia
I've always been interested in overseas travel, and it all started with a trip to Bali. I was drawn to the warmth of the local people and the peaceful atmosphere, and I thought, "I want to come back again." After that, I had more opportunities to work with Indonesia, and I ended up staying there for a while.
■ How I met my husband
They met through a mutual friend. From their first meeting, he was very friendly, and I felt comfortable being able to talk to him without any reservations. Although there were differences in values, there was a comfortable feeling of being natural around him, and their relationship developed. After about a year and a half of dating, they got married.
■Life after marriage
I currently live between Japan and Indonesia. I cherish both of our families and have built warm relationships with them. I'm increasingly reminded of how wonderful family is in my daily life, and I'm enjoying peaceful days.
■ Differences in culture and religion
At first, I was confused by the differences in religion and lifestyle. In particular, there are differences from Japan in terms of food and daily routines. However, by accepting that "differences are natural," we have been able to compromise without difficulty. By valuing communication, we have avoided major conflicts and have been able to respect each other.
■ Mutual efforts
Her husband is learning Japanese, and Ms. M is actively deepening her understanding of Indonesian language and culture. They value daily communication in order to overcome language and cultural barriers.
■ The allure of Indonesian men
They are very family-oriented and express their affection warmly, which is a great quality. Their strong desire to protect those they care about and their deep compassion provide a sense of security. Furthermore, many of them have bright and positive personalities, and being around them naturally lifts your spirits.
■Things I like about my husband
They are kind and always there for me. When I'm with them, I feel safe and can be my true self.
■For those who are considering it
You might feel anxious at first, but taking that first step will broaden your perspectives and your life. I believe that you can build relationships where you can enjoy your differences and respect each other.
Success Stories 2
“Even after facing all our differences, I knew I wanted to be with him. We still cherish our time together as a couple to this day.”
Ms. S, in her 30s
*This is a case of marriage that occurred through means other than our service, but we are presenting it as a real example of marriage with an Indonesian man.
■ Meeting Her Indonesian Husband
About 13 years ago, Ms. S met her current husband in Shibuya through a mutual acquaintance. Her husband’s brother had previously lived in Japan, which inspired him to move to the country himself. He spoke fluent Japanese and was working while living in Japan. They first crossed paths at a gathering where they were having drinks with their mutual friends. It turns out it was love at first sight for him. Later, he looked her up on Facebook to get in touch. After meeting up for meals a few times, their relationship naturally blossomed into romance.
■ First Impressions
When they first met, they were out drinking with their mutual friends. Ms. S was quite tipsy and invited him to dance, saying, "Let's dance together!" However, he didn't dance at all.
Oddly enough, that made a strong impression on her. Instead of coming across as someone who just goes with the casual vibe of the room, he had a cool, composed aura. She felt, "This is someone I can really rely on." She was drawn to his strong inner core and the way he stayed true to himself without being swayed by the atmosphere around him. While he seemed cool at first, as they grew closer, she discovered a sweeter, more affectionate and honest side to him. Whenever he realized he was wrong, he would apologize properly. They could speak their minds openly with each other. Over time, they naturally progressed to splitting their time between each other's places, and eventually moved in together.
■ The Reason for Deciding to Marry
The path to marriage was by no means smooth sailing. Because of differences in religion and culture, there were many times when they felt bewildered or hurt. There were moments when she worried about their differing values and thought, "This might be too difficult." Even so, she never felt like she wanted to walk away from him. Precisely because of their differences, they both made an effort to understand one another, and this gradual accumulation of effort built deep trust.
Before getting married, they spent a week in Bali, which gave her a chance to experience his local culture and lifestyle firsthand. She was occasionally surprised by the reality of the living environment, which was quite different from the glamorous resort image she had envisioned while in Japan. Yet, her feeling of "I want to be with this person" never wavered. There was no grand, cinematic proposal; the decision to marry came about naturally during the course of an everyday conversation.
■ Life After Marriage
Today, they live in Japan and are blessed with two children, aged 12 and 9. Her husband is incredibly hardworking and sincere—someone who always heads to work even the morning after having a few drinks. He also deeply treasures his time with the family.
A particularly special routine for the couple is their nightly drink together. Both of them enjoy alcohol, and ever since the beginning of their marriage, they have made it a point to sit down for a drink and talk about their day. This routine has remained unchanged even after their children were born. No matter how busy life gets, they never miss taking the time to face each other as husband and wife and converse. She mentions that they prioritize spending time together as a man and a woman, not just as parents. "We aren't together just because we have children; we have a relationship where we genuinely want to be together as a couple even now." Her words beautifully convey the deep bond they share.
■ On Cultural, Religious, and Language Differences
Her husband is Hindu and did not eat beef when they first married. However, as he spent more years living in Japan, his diet gradually shifted, and now he eats it completely naturally.Additionally, when they visited his family home in Indonesia, his relatives often conversed in Indonesian, which was confusing for her at first. However, Ms. S mentions that she often thinks it was actually a good thing that she didn't understand the language. Because she couldn't catch the details of every conversation, she didn't end up overthinking things or worrying more than necessary.
■ The Charm of Indonesian Men
She notes that their kindness, thoughtfulness, and broad-mindedness are wonderfully charming. Most of all, the greatest charm is how much they value quality time as a couple. She feels a distinct difference from typical Japanese men in how naturally they can prioritize spending time together just the two of them, keeping the romance alive like sweethearts even after marriage.
■ What She Loves About Her Husband
She deeply respects how dedicated he is to his work, how reliably he carves out time for the family, and how he keeps his own strong inner core without being influenced by those around him.
■ A Message to Women Considering International Marriage
When you marry someone from a different country, the culture, language, and values will all be different. You will bump heads at times, and it won't always be easy. However, if you still feel "I want to be with this person" despite all that, you can absolutely overcome those hurdles.
The most important things are making the effort to understand each other and cherishing the time you spend facing one another as a couple. I truly believe there is a profound happiness to be found in a relationship built by looking past and rising above your differences.